No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
