She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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