I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
