Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
