remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
