He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
