I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
