After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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