Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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