That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
