I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
