normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
