I wanna bring you to show and tell
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
