Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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