I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
