There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I currently don't understand fingers.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
