I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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