it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
