the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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