ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
