that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
All the doctor said was why
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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