hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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