She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
