while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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