he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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