Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
