the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
