She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
