i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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