idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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