Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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