I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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