His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She bit a glass in half.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
