Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
