I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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