dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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