I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
