I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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