if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
