Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
