idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
