when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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