you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
