Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
