u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
