Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
