Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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