I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This baby is an asshole
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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