um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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