tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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