covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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