If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
